Clarification, Resistance or Excuses?

One of my biggest frustrations isn’t when someone disagrees with me. It’s when someone asks for help and then argues with every answer.

Pushback is normal. Questions are normal. Needing to understand the “why” is normal. In fact, I encourage it. I question everything for understanding — even your resistance.

Go ahead — read the articles, read the studies, ask questions, get a second opinion, and do your own research. I do not expect blind trust. And I do not agree with everyone, even in the holistic world.

What I struggle with is repeated resistance after the umpteenth explanation — or when things are urgent. Like you want to go holistic, you want to help your dog, you want to make a change, but you resist taking action and just keep pushing back.

And at some point, you have to ask yourself an honest question: do I actually trust the person advising me?

If the answer is no, say that. Get on a phone call, not 17 text messages over the course of a day or two. Get clarity. Find someone you do trust.

But if the answer is yes, then you also have to ask yourself why you are resisting every next step.

Is it fear? Money? Overwhelm? A bad experience with another practitioner? Guilt because you waited too long? Confusion because ten different people told you ten different things?

Tell the truth.

The person helping you can work with truth. We can adjust a plan for your budget. We can simplify. We can prioritize. We can explain the why. We can slow down and choose the first best step.

But we cannot help as well when we are guessing around your resistance.

If your dog is sick, itching, limping, anxious, vomiting, declining, struggling with behavior, or clearly uncomfortable, days — yes, I said days — of delay are problematic. “I don’t have that product” is not where the conversation ends. Get in the car. Order it overnight. Pay the shipping fee. Find an alternative. Do something.

“I don’t have time” is another one that makes me twitchy. We all get the same 24 hours. The real question is how you used yours while your dog was still struggling.

Even the resistance to go to the vet when clearly that’s the right issue for diagnostics or complex medical needs, injuries, etc stuns me. Do you know how often I see that in Nurse Facebook groups?

Or the pet parent who’s been happy to give 4 prescription medications — that aren’t working, have a host of side effects, etc — but heaven forbid we recommend something natural.

I will usually tolerate the pushback once. Maybe twice. Often three times if I think you’re genuinely trying to understand. I’ll send more articles, explain it a different way, point you toward resources, and spend far more time than I should trying to help you feel comfortable with the action plan.

But if every suggestion turns into a rebuttal, every next step gets delayed, and every recommendation is met with another reason why it can’t be done, I eventually hit a wall. At that point, we are no longer solving a problem. We are protecting an excuse. And I can’t do anything with that.

Here’s the other thing: I know not everything works for every dog. I know every family has a different budget, schedule, household, and level of support. And I know that sometimes the first thing we try doesn’t work. Or the second. Or even the third.

What looks like simple GI upset may lead us down a deeper path of gut restoration, leaky gut support, SIBO troubleshooting, or even the need to consider FMT instead of tossing in another lightweight probiotic you found on the ‘zon and hoping for the best.

Your food — even if it’s expensive and considered a great brand — may simply not be right for your dog according to TCVM.

What looks like “just allergies” with inflamed skin may lead us to troubleshoot food intolerances, elimination diets, environmental triggers, heavy metal testing, or the very boring but very real possibility that your dog is reacting to your laundry soap.

That’s why we keep asking questions. That’s why we adjust the plan. That’s why one failed attempt does not mean we throw up our hands and quit.

Welcome to working with living, unique beings.

Dogs are individuals. What works beautifully for one dog may do absolutely nothing for another. That’s not failure. That’s information. It simply tells us what to try next.

There is almost always something else to try.

What I struggle with is when resistance leads to a hard stop. The supplement didn’t work. The trainer didn’t help. The food wasn’t the answer. The oil didn’t create a miracle. The herb wasn’t enough. Okay. Then we adjust. We learn. We pivot. We try again.

What we don’t do is decide that because one thing didn’t work, nothing will work. And we certainly don’t spend hours bantering in email, text, or chat, frustrated, angry, or ghosting the people who were trying to help.

Progress is often found on attempt number four, five, or ten. Remember, I’ve told you healing takes time. Healing happens in layers. In reverse order of symptoms. From the inside out. Things sometimes get worse before they get better. That’s how healing works if you’re getting to the root.

It’s also why I don’t believe in staying locked into one single modality of support.

The dogs that improve are rarely the dogs whose owners found the perfect solution on day one. They’re the dogs whose owners stayed committed long enough to find what worked, saw the layers of improvement start to take shape, and kept going.

The truth is that change requires action. Not more debating. Not another week of thinking about it. Not another 47 reasons why this recommendation is different from the last recommendation you didn’t follow.

At some point, you’re either in it to win it — or resisting the process.

Whether it’s nutrition, behavior, allergies, gut health, anxiety, mobility, chronic disease, or general wellness, at some point you have to stop explaining why you can’t and start figuring out how you can.

Your dog doesn’t need perfection. Your dog doesn’t need unlimited money. Your dog doesn’t need every supplement, every test, every gadget, or every program. Your dog needs movement, a first step, a better choice, and a willingness to act.

Because while you are debating, delaying, researching one more thing, or explaining why nothing can be done, your dog is still living in the discomfort.

The dogs that get better aren’t always the dogs with the biggest budget. They’re usually the dogs whose owners were willing to take action, stay consistent, communicate well,

and keep going when the first answer wasn’t the final answer.

Those are the dogs that change. Those are the dogs that heal. Those are the dogs that thrive.